373晓棠整容欲重生 晓星流泪悼当年（2 / 2）

请勿开启浏览器阅读模式，否则将导致章节内容缺失及无法阅读下一章。<h3>373晓棠整容欲重生 晓星流泪悼当年（第2页）</h3><script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+4oCc5oiR5aaI566h5ZGA77yB4oCdPC9wPg=='));</script>

“我妈管呀！”<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+4oCc5L2g5aaI6L+e5aW56Ieq5bex6YO9566h5LiN5LqG6L+Y566h5oiR77yB4oCd5pmT5qOg5Ya356yR44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

“你妈连她自己都管不了还管我！”晓棠冷笑。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+6K+06ICF5peg5oSP77yM5ZCs6ICF5pyJ5b+D44CC5Y6f5pys5oOK5Zac55qE6ZKf6Zuq5qKF5Z2Q5Zyo5rKZ5Y+R6L655LiK5b+954S25rKJ6buY5LqG44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

说者无意，听者有心。原本惊喜的钟雪梅坐在沙发边上忽然沉默了。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+4oCc5ZKL5LqG5L2g77yB5LiN5Y+r5ZSk5ZWm77yf4oCd5pmT5qOg5aS66L+H5aKo6ZWc77yM6YeN5paw5oi05Zyo6IS45LiK44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

“咋了你！不叫唤啦？”晓棠夺过墨镜，重新戴在脸上。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+4oCc5rKh5LuA5LmI4oCm4oCm4oCd6Zuq5qKF55yL552A6Ieq5bex55qE6ISa44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

“没什么……”雪梅看着自己的脚。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+4oCc5L2g54i45L2g5aaI5LiN5Lya5Y+I5ZC15p625LqG5ZCn77yf4oCd5pmT5qOg6Zeu6Zuq5qKF44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

“你爸你妈不会又吵架了吧？”晓棠问雪梅。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+6Zuq5qKF5rKh6K+06K+d44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

雪梅没说话。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+4oCc5L2g5LuO5bCP5bCx6L+Z5qC377yM5LiA5pem5LiN6auY5YW06IKv5a6a5piv5Zug5Li65LuW5Lik5ZC15p625LqG77yB5Yqo5omL5LqG5rKh77yf4oCd5pmT5qOg5pS+5LiL6ZWc5a2Q6Zeu44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

“你从小就这样，一旦不高兴肯定是因为他两吵架了！动手了没？”晓棠放下镜子问。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+6Zuq5qKF5q2q552A6ISR6KKL5ZKs552A5LiL5ZSH77yM5Y+I5rKh6K+06K+d44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

雪梅歪着脑袋咬着下唇，又没说话。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5pmT5qOg6Lmt5Zyw5LiA5aOw56uZ5LqG6LW35p2l77yM5Lik5omL5oqx6IO45Zyo5a6i5Y6F6YeM5rCU5ZG85ZG85Zyw6LWw5p2l6LWw5Y6744CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

晓棠蹭地一声站了起来，两手抱胸在客厅里气呼呼地走来走去。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

“你爸就不是个东西！我说话难听你别介意！还有你妈！搁我身上早离了一百次了，她从头到尾这么多年了从不离婚——让人家白打呀？我真是气死了！你妈以前像你这么大时比你还能干、独立、有头脑，怎么现在变得……我真是无法容忍她！”晓棠边说边小心翼翼地擦着眼角的泪。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+4oCc5LiN55+l6YGT5omT5b6X5Lil6YeN5LiN5Lil6YeN77yf5L2g5aaI6L+Z5Lq65bCx5piv6L+Z5qC377yM5Y+X5LqG56qd5ZuK5rCU5LuO5LiN5ZCx5LiA5aOw77yB5oiR6KaB5piv5b2T5aW56Z2i6aqC5L2g54i45aW56L+Y5Y+N6L+H5p2l6aqC5oiR77yB55yf5LiN55+l6YGT5L2g5aaI5piv5oCO5LmI5oOz55qE77yf5oiR5b+r6KKr5aW55rCU5q275LqG77yB5aW55ouX552A6L+H6L+Z56eN5pel5a2Q77yM5Yiw5bqV5piv5Li65LqG5LuA5LmI5ZGA77yf5Zu+5LuA5LmI5ZGA77yf4oCd5pmT5qOg5Yay6Zuq5qKF5oqW552A5Lik5omL44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

“不知道打得严重不严重？你妈这人就是这样，受了窝囊气从不吱一声！我要是当她面骂你爸她还反过来骂我！真不知道你妈是怎么想的？我快被她气死了！她拗着过这种日子，到底是为了什么呀？图什么呀？”晓棠冲雪梅抖着两手。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5pmT5qOg5pOk5LqG5pOk6by75raV77yM5o6l552A6L655ZOt6L656K+04oCc5L2g5Lus5a625pep5LiN6KGM5ZWm77yB5oiR5q+P5qyh6Zeu5L2g5aaI5qyg5LqG5aSa5bCR5aW55LuO5LiN5byA5Y+j77yB5oiR5bCx6Zeu6Zeu5L2g54i45piv5bmy5LuA5LmI5ZCD55qE77yB5LiN5YW75a625LiN6L+Y5YC65bCx566X5LqG77yM5aSp5aSp5Zad6YWS6L+Y5omT5aWz5Lq677yB6L+Z5piv5Liq5Lq65ZCX77yf6L+Z5piv5q2j5bi455qE54i25Lqy5ZCX77yf5oiR55yf5oGo5oiR5LiN5piv5Liq55S355qE77yM5oiR6KaB5piv5Liq55S355qE6IKv5a6a5b6X5pWZ6K6t5pWZ6K6t5L2g54i477yB4oCdPC9wPg=='));</script>

晓棠擤了擤鼻涕，接着边哭边说“你们家早不行啦！我每次问你妈欠了多少她从不开口！我就问问你爸是干什么吃的！不养家不还债就算了，天天喝酒还打女人！这是个人吗？这是正常的父亲吗？我真恨我不是个男的，我要是个男的肯定得教训教训你爸！”<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+4oCc5bCP5aeo5L2g5Yir6K+05LqG77yB5oiR5Y675rSX5r6h5LqG44CC4oCd6Zuq5qKF5reM552A6ZW/6ZW/55qE5rOq5Y675oi/6Ze05ou/552h6KGj77yM6ICM5ZCO5Y675LqG5Y2r55Sf6Ze06YeM5rSX5r6h44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

“小姨你别说了！我去洗澡了。”雪梅淌着长长的泪去房间拿睡衣，而后去了卫生间里洗澡。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

包晓棠一屁股坐在沙发上，想给姐姐打个电话，又不知道要说什么，更怕自己说得难听伤了姐姐——毫无疑问她才是此时此刻最伤心的那个人。电话拨通以后，包晓棠克制着自己的情绪，只聊了几句雪梅的事情，便主动挂了电话。挂完电话以后，晓棠看着电话通讯录里那个唯一被她设置了星标的人，久久地不平、默默地心疼。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5pmT5pif5oyC5LqG55S16K+d77yM5LiA5Liq5Lq65b6F5Zyo5a+M5pil5bCP5Yy655qE5oi/5a2Q6YeM77yM5omL5o+h5omL5py677yM5Zue5oOz552A5aa55aa55Yia5omN55qE6Zeu5YCZ44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

晓星挂了电话，一个人待在富春小区的房子里，手握手机，回想着妹妹刚才的问候。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

期初刚来深圳时她们姐妹两无话不说，待她结了婚有了孩子、晓棠在工作上努力上进的那几年，她们的联系少了很多，对彼此的误解也滋生出来，幸亏梅梅在其中通气、调解。这几年的好多怨恨和生分，也多亏了梅梅不解自消。他们吵架动手的事情，很明显她知道了，这才打了这么一个电话。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5LiN5o2F56C055qE56qX5oi357q477yM5Zy66Z2i5LiN6Zq+55yL77yM5b+D6YeM56uf6Zq+5Y+X5p6B5LqG44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

不捅破的窗户纸，场面不难看，心里竟难受极了。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5b6A5ZCO55qE5pel5a2Q6K+l5oCO5LmI6L+H5ZGi77yf5pmT5pif5o+h552A5rm/5rm/55qE5Y2r55Sf57q477yM5LiN5YGc5Zyw5pOm5rOq44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

往后的日子该怎么过呢？晓星握着湿湿的卫生纸，不停地擦泪。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5q+P5Liq5Lq65paw5ama5pe277yM5peg5LiN5a+55a+55pa55oqx552A54Ot5b+x5ZKM5biM5pyb77yM5peg5LiN5a+555Sf5rS75oqx552A54Ot5b+x5ZKM5biM5pyb77yM562J546w5a6e5aaC5Y+w6aOO5LiA6Iis5peg5oOF6L+H5aKD5LmL5ZCO77yM5Lq65omN6IO955yL5riF5b285q2k55qE55yf6Z2i55uu44CC5aW55LiN5YaN5piv5b2T5bm055qE5aW577yM6ZKf55CG5Lmf5LiN5Zyo5piv5b2T5bm055qE6ZKf55CG44CC5aWI5L2V5Lq65aaC5q2k57uP5LiN6LW355Sf5rS755qE56Oo5oqY77yM5aWI5L2V5Lq65aaC5q2k5aSa5Y+Y54uh6K+I44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

每个人新婚时，无不对对方抱着热忱和希望，无不对生活抱着热忱和希望，等现实如台风一般无情过境之后，人才能看清彼此的真面目。她不再是当年的她，钟理也不在是当年的钟理。奈何人如此经不起生活的磨折，奈何人如此多变狡诈。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5pyf5Yid5aW55Lus55Sf5rS75b6X5b6I6Ieq55Sx44CB5b6I5b+r5LmQ77yM5aW55oS/5oSP5Li65LuW5rSX6KGj5YGa6aWt77yM5LuW5LiN6K6p5aW55bmy5Lu75L2V6YeN5rS777yb5aW55Li65LuW55qE56uv6Iy26YCB5rC077yM5LuW5Li65aW55a+S5Yas5Y2K5aSc5Ye65Y675Lmw6I2v77yb5aW55Zyo5ZCO5Yuk5L+t6IqC57qm77yM5LuW5Zyo5YmN5byA55aG5ouT5Zyf77yb5aW55piv5LuW55qE6LSk5YaF5Yqp77yM5LuW5Li65aW55LiA5b+D5LiA5oSP6LCL5bm456aP4oCm4oCm6YKj5pe25YCZ5aW55LqM5Y2B5Ye65aS077yM5LuW5Yia6L+H56ys5LqM5Liq5pys5ZG95bm044CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

期初她们生活得很自由、很快乐，她愿意为他洗衣做饭，他不让她干任何重活；她为他的端茶送水，他为她寒冬半夜出去买药；她在后勤俭节约，他在前开疆拓土；她是他的贤内助，他为她一心一意谋幸福……那时候她二十出头，他刚过第二个本命年。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

一晃多年又过，他们有了孩子、接来父亲，开始享受大家庭的温暖和喜乐。三个大人每天皆是连轴转，钟理在外上班，晓星忙着铺子生意，孩子爷爷专程带着孩子，梅梅的无忧和欢笑如无形的奖杯一般让每个人感到付出是值得的、生活是自豪的。日子虽一日蹭着一日过得匆忙，但匆忙中不乏欢笑和感动、收获和感恩。两人稳定的收入促成他们很快有了房子和车子，一对来自农村的、文化程度一般的人能在深圳这样的地方扎下根来，着实不易。那时候的生活充满了奔头，每一天一睁眼便是幸福——再回首，那竟是十年前了。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+6Iez5by66Iez5byx44CB6Iez5Yia6Iez5p+U44CC5rKh5pyJ5pKV5b+D6KOC6IK654ix6L+H5LuY5Ye66L+H55qE5Lq677yM5rKh5pyJ5LiA5oSP5a2k6KGM5Yiw6Lqr5b+D5p6B6ZmQ55qE5Lq677yM5rKh5pyJ6aG95by65a+55oqX6L+H5omA6LCT5ZG96L+Q55qE5Lq677yM5qC55pys5LiN5Lya5piO55m95pmT5pif5q2k5Yi755qE5oSf5Y+X44CC5ama5ae755qE5oKy5ZOA5Zu654S25Luk5Lq65rKu5Lin77yM5L2G5peL5rah5bqV5LiL55qE5a+C6Z2Z44CB6buO5piO5YmN55qE5a6J5a6B56uf6K6p5aW55rKJ6L+344CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

至强至弱、至刚至柔。没有撕心裂肺爱过付出过的人，没有一意孤行到身心极限的人，没有顽强对抗过所谓命运的人，根本不会明白晓星此刻的感受。婚姻的悲哀固然令人沮丧，但旋涡底下的寂静、黎明前的安宁竟让她沉迷。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5Zyo57u05oqk5a625bqt5ZKM6L+95rGC6Ieq5oiR5LmL6Ze077yM6IiN5byD5ZOq5LiA6ICF5a+55YyF5pmT5pif5p2l6K+05Z2H5piv5Yqr6Zq+44CC5Zyo6bG85ZKM54aK5o6M5LiN6IO95YWx5a2Y55qE55uu5LiL77yM5pmT5pif5qC55pys5LiN55+l5aaC5L2V5Y+W6IiN44CC5ZG96L+Q55qE6JuK5oOR5LiO5YKs5L+D6K6p5aW55oO25oGQ6ICM5oem5byx77yM5aW55Y+q6IO96YCD6YG/4oCU4oCU55So5Ya35ryg5peg5aOw5p2l6YCD6YG/77yM6ICM6ZKf55CG55qE6Ieq5pq06Ieq5byD5Yqg6YCf5LqG5aW555qE6YCD6YG/44CB54as5bC95LqG5aW555Sf5ZG955qE5biM5pyb44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

在维护家庭和追求自我之间，舍弃哪一者对包晓星来说均是劫难。在鱼和熊掌不能共存的目下，晓星根本不知如何取舍。命运的蛊惑与催促让她惶恐而懦弱，她只能逃避——用冷漠无声来逃避，而钟理的自暴自弃加速了她的逃避、熬尽了她生命的希望。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

期初她看不懂他，她觉得他的自暴自弃等同于慢性自杀。不是所有的自杀都是激烈果决的、一次致命的。自暴自弃比一招致命更狠，因为它是有预谋的、有过程的、有自我监控的，自暴自弃的人眼睁睁地看着自己的痛苦在加倍增长，他们在自己加倍的痛苦里体验着自己的失重和消亡，他们过度地使用自己的身体，刻意或无意地通过先杀死自己的某一项身体官能，接着阉割自己的器官，最后杀死承载器官的载体。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

自暴自弃的人对自己越残忍也就越痛苦，越痛苦也就越残忍。反过来，他们对自己的残忍加倍投射在身边人身上，痛苦也加倍投射。倘若钟理身边只有她，她竟是羡慕他的。在沉沦中享受另一种生命色彩，也不枉此虚浮一生。可他的身边有老父亲、有小孩子——有着对其自暴自弃不可承受的家人。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5LuW5Y+q5piv5q+P5aSp5pma5LiK5Zad5a6M6YWS552h5Zyo5Zyw5LiK6ICM5bey77yM5Y205oC75piv5pyJ5LiA5Liq6ICB5Lq65Zyo5b+D6YeM5ZOA5Lyk5rWB5rOq77yb5LuW5Y+q5piv5b+D5Lit6YOB6Ze35Zyw6K+05LqG5Yeg5Y+l6Zq+5ZCs6K+d6ICM5bey77yM5Y205oC75pyJ5LiA5Liq5bCP5a2p5a2Q5Lul5Li66Ieq5bex54qv5LqG5aSn6ZSZ44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

他只是每天晚上喝完酒睡在地上而已，却总是有一个老人在心里哀伤流泪；他只是心中郁闷地说了几句难听话而已，却总有一个小孩子以为自己犯了大错。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5YyF5pmT5pif5Zyo5rOq55y85Lit5oCA5b+15b2T5Yid6YKj5Liq6auY5aSn6Iux5L+K55qE55S35Lq644CC5aW55rKJ5rq66ZKf55CG55qE56Gs5pyX77yM5L6d6LWW5LuW55qE6auY5aSn77yb5aW55bSH5ouc6ZKf55CG55qE5a2m6K+G44CB5py65pWP77yM55yL6YeN5LuW55qE5Yuk5aWL44CB5ZaE6Imv77yb5aW55Zac5qyi6ZKf55CG5Zyo6Ieq5bex6Z2i5YmN54Kr6ICA5LuW55qE5Y2a6Ze75bm/6KeB77yM5Zac5qyi5LuW5ZCR6Ieq5bex5Y2W5byE6IGM5Zy65LiK55qE5oOK5b+D5Yqo6a2E5LiO5LuW55qE5bCP6IOc5LiA56254oCm4oCmPC9wPg=='));</script>

包晓星在泪眼中怀念当初那个高大英俊的男人。她沉溺钟理的硬朗，依赖他的高大；她崇拜钟理的学识、机敏，看重他的勤奋、善良；她喜欢钟理在自己面前炫耀他的博闻广见，喜欢他向自己卖弄职场上的惊心动魄与他的小胜一筹……<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5YyF5pmT5pif5L6d54S25rKJ6YaJ5Zyo6ZKf55CG55qE54us5LiA5peg5LqM6YeM5peg5rOV6Ieq5ouU44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

包晓星依然沉醉在钟理的独一无二里无法自拔。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5LuW5pu+57uP5bim552A6Ieq5bex55yL6YGN5rex5Zyz55qE5bGx5bGx5rC05rC077yM5Y+q5oOz6K6p5aW554ix5LiK6L+Z5bqn5Z+O5biC77yb5LuW5pu+57uP6Zmq552A6Ieq5bex6LWw6YGN5rex5Zyz55qE5aSn5ZWG5Zy644CB5bCP6KGX5biC77yM5Y+q5Li66K6p5aW55Lmw5Yiw5aW55pyA54ix55qE6Z2S6Imy6KOZ5a2Q77yb5LuW5pu+57uP5Li65LqG6Ieq5bex5oOz6KaB55qE5oqr6IKp6LeR5LqG5LiA5pW05aSp77yM5LiN5oOz6K6p6Ieq5bex6Lef552A5LuW5pyJ5Lid5q+r5aeU5bGI4oCm4oCmPC9wPg=='));</script>

他曾经带着自己看遍深圳的山山水水，只想让她爱上这座城市；他曾经陪着自己走遍深圳的大商场、小街市，只为让她买到她最爱的青色裙子；他曾经为了自己想要的披肩跑了一整天，不想让自己跟着他有丝毫委屈……<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

她更怀念那时候的包晓星。那时自己的每一顿饭无不绞尽脑汁变着花样，只为让钟理受尽宠爱；那时自己每年拉着钟理去寺庙膜拜，为的是让他学会祈祷和安心、放下恐惧和焦虑；那时自己跟钟理的每一次深谈无不语重心长、极尽柔情，只为让他看到自身的成长，还有自己作为妻子对他的支持与爱。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5YyF5pmT5pif6K6o5Y6M6ZKf55CG55qE6Ieq5pq06Ieq5byD77yM5aaC5ZCM5aW55Y6M5oGo6Ieq5bex55qE5Ya35ryg5LiA5qC34oCU4oCU5rex6YeN44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

包晓星讨厌钟理的自暴自弃，如同她厌恨自己的冷漠一样——深重。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

。